How are they going to manage to “kick it up a notch” now?  Emeril Lagasse will tape the last episode of Emeril Live on December 11.

Emeril Lagasse was the reason I started watching the Food Network. He’s a master chef, but I understand and can follow his recipes easily. I enjoy his admittedly corny catch-phrases, and like the live band and audience rapport.  There are a few other shows I enjoy on the network, like Alton Brown’s Good Eats — my husband finds him odd, but I find him entertaining in an odd way – but I will definitely miss Emeril Live.

As my husband knows all too well, I have a habit of waking up in the wee hours of the morning.  I usually head downstairs, do some websurfing on my computer, read one of my crafting magazines, spend some quality time with my mutt, before heading for the sofa to doze off while watching some infomercials.  I just figured it was a result of my hitting middle age full on, but maybe not.  The New York Times magazine did a long article on the Sleep Industrial Complex.  Much of it discusses the effects of modern sleep medications and the mattress industry (the history of which is fascinating in and of itself) but long about page 6, I ran into some interesting historical stuff.

More surprising still, Ekirch reports that for many centuries, and perhaps back to Homer, Western society slept in two shifts. People went to sleep, got up in the middle of the night for an hour or so, and then went to sleep again. Thus night — divided into a “first sleep” and “second sleep” — also included a curious intermission. “There was an extraordinary level of activity,” Ekirch told me. People got up and tended to their animals or did housekeeping. Others had sex or just lay in bed thinking, smoking a pipe, or gossiping with bedfellows.  Benjamin Franklin took “cold-air baths,” reading naked in a chair.

Our conception of sleep as an unbroken block is so innate that it can seem inconceivable that people only two centuries ago should have experienced it so differently. Yet in an experiment at the National Institutes of Health a decade ago, men kept on a schedule of 10 hours of light and 14 hours of darkness — mimicking the duration of day and night during winter — fell into the same, segmented pattern. They began sleeping in two distinct, roughly four-hour stretches, with one to three hours of somnolence — just calmly lying there — in between. Some sleep disorders, namely waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep again, “may simply be this traditional pattern, this normal pattern, reasserting itself,” Ekirch told me. “It’s the seamless sleep that we aspire to that’s the anomaly, the creation of the modern world.”

Is it too much to say I feel really liberated by this?  I’d not heard of the concept of segmented sleep before, though from my medieval lit class, I knew about (and was horrified by) the fact that travelers often shared their beds with 2 or 3 other fellow travelers.  Now that I know it’s not weird to wake up in the middle of the night (though the verdict is still out on watching infomercials), I might be inspired to accomplish something during that time!

I had the opportunity last week to moderate a couple of debates at a local university. The students, primarily 1st and 2nd year, were required to participate in the debate, as part of their grades in a public speaking class. They were given their debate topics the previous week (wow — my debate teacher gave us 15 minutes!). Their lack of knowledge, of grammar, of ability to make coherent arguments, of being able to think, left me rather stunned. If I were grading them solely only content (not on speaking skills), 80% of them would have received a D or F. (If I had included speaking skills, 95% of them would have gotten that D or F.) An example: after the debate, one student wanted to know where the Roman numerals were on her computer keyboard so she could turn in her outline for extra credit.

There is plenty of factual evidence that supports my anecdotal evidence. Last fall, after a year-long study, the federally funded Commission on the Future of Higher Education reported that U.S. colleges are not giving students “the education that they need” and concluded that even though degrees are being awarded, many graduates “have not actually mastered the reading, writing and thinking skills” they should have gained.

In late August 2007, just before school started, came word that high school reading skills were at a 13 year low:

Reading skills among U.S. students graduating from high school this year fell to the lowest since 1994 as measured by the most widely taken college-entrance exam.

Reading scores on the SAT declined 1 point to 502 after a 5- point drop last year, the test’s operator, the College Board, reported today. The decline in 2006 had been the largest in three decades. Average math results fell 3 points to 515, and writing grades also declined 3 points, to 494.

And today comes the news that even our elementary school students are falling further and further behind.

U.S. fourth-graders have lost ground in reading ability compared with kids around the world, according to results of a global reading test.

Test results released Wednesday showed U.S. students, who took the test last year, scored about the same as they did in 2001, the last time the test was given—despite an increased emphasis on reading under the No Child Left Behind law.

Still, the U.S. average score on the Progress in International Reading Literacy test remained above the international average. Ten countries or jurisdictions, including Hong Kong and three Canadian provinces, were ahead of the United States this time. In 2001, only three countries were ahead of the United States.

Our colleges are suffering form the same malady as our public high schools and elementary schools — the dumbing down of the students. Schools focus on socialization and “cultural enrichment” programs at the expense of reading, writing and arithmetic. Since failing a student means less money into the school system, teachers are encouraged/compelled to simplify the curriculum so that all students pass.

It is no wonder that many graduating students are unable to balance a checking account. Our education system is so badly broken that it no longer transmits even the most basic knowledge to the majority of the students.

Subtitle: the autobiography of Teddy Kennedy.  Which is getting him an $8 million advance.  I have no interest in this book, will not buy it, and won’t check it out at the library either.  I have little respect for a man who was expelled from Harvard for chronic cheating, left a woman to drown in his car and didn’t call for help until after he called his attorney, a likely collaborationist with the KGB, a drunk who apparently thinks a “waitress sandwich” is appropriate behavior for a U.S. Senator, who is pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and, well, I could go on, but it’s not good for my blood pressure.

My question is, since he is a current U.S. Senator, and has no plans to retire, shouldn’t he turn down this deal and return the money, to avoid ethics charges (just as Jim Wright and later Newt Gingrich) had to do?

Three competing companies — 23andme, Decode, and Navigenics — are betting that you want to know more about your DNA, and that you are willing to pay $999 to find out what genes (and genetic abnormalities) you’ve inherited and who you’re related to.

Ancestry.com is probably the largest internet genealogy site, with an amazing amount of information available. And now, rather than the time-consuming talking to relatives, searching archives, combing through old church records, you can (hopefully) skip all that, and buy your own test from Ancestry.com DNA. After which you join your free family group list serve or message board at Rootsweb (also part of Ancestry).

Men can track their heredity by surname and the markers on their Y chromosomes (passed only from men to their sons since girls don’t have a Y chromosome). Both men and women can track by their mitochondrial DNA (passed from mother to all her children in the oocyte cytoplasm), and voila — you might turn out to be related to the Queen of England.

I do worry about the consequences of this readily available testing. It’s bound to show that someone fell off the family tree somewhere. I worry more (much more) about all the false positives for genetic abnormalities that will show up. Not all variations in genes are tied to diseases. And there’s the issue of privacy and how long before the data finds its way to drug marketing companies, insurance companies, mailing lists, or scammers. Despite assurances of privacy, once the data is available, it’s available. Remember when veterans’ financial data was compromised when the Department of Defense laptop on which it was stored was stolen? (I do — my husband’s a veteran.) Or the numerous incidents of data being stolen from credit card companies.

So as much as I am interested in genealogy, and as much as I despair of getting back beyond my ancestral brick walls, I think I’ll skip the DNA route.

According to a new Zogby Poll, if the election were held today, and if it came down to Hillary Clinton and any of the five main GOP contenders, she’d lose. That’s right. McCain, Romney, Giuliani, Thompson, and Huckabee would all beat her acccording to this poll.

Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton trails five top Republican presidential contenders in general election match-ups, a drop in support from this summer, according to a poll released on Monday.

Clinton’s top Democratic rivals, Barack Obama and John Edwards, still lead Republicans in hypothetical match-ups ahead of the November 4, 2008, presidential election, the survey by Zogby Interactive showed.

Clinton, a New York senator who has been at the top of the Democratic pack in national polls in the 2008 race, trails Republican candidates Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, John McCain and Mike Huckabee by three to five percentage points in the direct matches.

In July, Clinton narrowly led McCain, an Arizona senator, and held a five-point lead over former New York Mayor Giuliani, a six-point lead over former Tennessee Sen. Thompson and a 10-point lead over former Massachusetts Gov. Romney.

Zogby is notoriously unreliable, as it’s an internet poll and it provides little, if any, information on the methodology or sampling, but it is useful when comparing other polls to detect trends. Polls measure current opinion, and we have a ways to go until the nominations are determined in February.

What I finding interesting is that the Democrats have such a weak field to choose from — in many ways it’s a repeat of 2004. Hillary’s two closest competitors have the depth of cardboard cutouts. Obama has had what, six months of experience as a senator before jumping into the race. He often is a compelling orator, but there’s not much in the way of ideas that he’s putting forth right now. He’s probably playing it ’safe’ so as not to offend anyone, but I don’t have much of an idea of what he believes. Edwards, he of the $400 haircut and $6 million, 28,000 square foot mansion, seems to be campaigning as a champion of the poor, on the divisive platform of rich vs. poor, us vs. them. There are no other viable candidates, and it’s too late for any one to jump in.

Except maybe Al Gore, whose recent Nobel Peace Prize has given him added visibility. But what else does he have to offer the Dems as a candidate? I have a really hard time thinking of anything, besides his pet issue, the environment, and he is vulnerable to attacks of hypocrisy on that front due to his lifestyle. On the campaign trail he has all the charm and personality of a corpse, and as a speech maker, he makes George W. Bush look like Martin Luther King, Jr.

I for one, would like a completely fresh candidate — someone who is not a rehash of the Bush and Clinton administrations.

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver put an awkward thing into his mouth — his foot.
According to the Daily Star, during a phone conversation with Angelina Jolie, Oliver had a little slip of the tongue when asking about Shiloh, Jolie and Brad Pitt’s daughter. It seems he got some letters in her name mixed up and accidentally called her Piloh Sh*t.

It’s not funny. Well, okay, yes it is. Funny in a “The Office” slightly uncomfortable funny way. Does this make me a bad person?
Of course Jamie Oliver apologized and sent over a Cheerios dessert treat in an effort to smooth things over. I don’t think he would intentionally would make fun of a child that way. He’s a heart-on-his-sleeve kind of guy, who is lovely with his two little daughters, and he has no history of being offensive, so I don’t believe he was trying to be.

But you know, if you are going to mangle someone’s name, you really couldn’t do much worse than that.

I woke up a little before 5:00 this morning, as I often do, and being a bit of an insomiac, I wandered downstairs.  I let the dog out, my breath puffing into the cold early morning air.  I enjoy the chill, the quiet broken by the occasional train whistle, and the dimness (okay, so maybe I’m a little odd…)  I do miss not being able to see the stars and constellations the way I used to, as it’s never completely dark – the lights from the prison a couple miles away light up the sky to the west too effectively for true star gazing.  This morning the grass was all crunchy with frost, and it’s amusing to see my 65 pounder black lab mix tiptoeing gingerly around.  I like the anticipation of the day ahead, the time to get myself ordered and ready in a leisurely way.  I so do not like sleeping late and having to rush around to get out of the house on time.

It’s now a month until Christmas, and this is my favorite time of the year, this “before” time, the building up, the anticipation, the planning, the traditions, the decorations, the preparations — I love all of these things.

So when I see articles about ”holiday stress,” or “how to get through the holidays without killing yourself or someone else,” or “That Holiday Disaster” or “holiday work, work, work, groan, strain, nightmare of a time”, I’m genuinely amazed, because there has never been a Christmas in all of my life that has caused me anything like that. Oh, sure, I’ve had some rough patches in my life – times with no money, getting sick, having arguments with my sisters and brothers – but the Christmas preliminaries are a time of great joy to me.

Advent, with all its breathless waiting, for Christmas, for gatherings with family and friends, for the birth of our Savior, is worth waiting for an entire year.

Today is my (mumblety-mumble) birthday.  My husband took me out to a wonderful restaurant for brunch, gave me a book I’ve been anxious to read.  All my siblings called (or emailed) birthday wishes, and it’s been a lovely day.  However, if my husband and I had an extra hundred thousand just lying around, here are some ideas for my next birthday present.

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - A Springfield rifle owned by the famed Apache warrior Geronimo fetched $100,000 during an auction of Wild West guns and weapons that brought in more than $1 million.

Lawman Wyatt Earp’s double-barreled shotgun garnered $65,500, while a saber attributed to U.S. Army cavalry commander George Custer sold for $20,315 at the Bonhams & Butterfields auction Tuesday.

Some of the guns were offered by a private collector who spent a lifetime accumulating firearms once carried by some of the most famous and infamous figures in American history, said Paul Carella, director of the company’s arms department.

“Obviously, he was like many of us, just intrigued and enamored of the old West,” Carella said Wednesday.

At the 800-item auction, buyers also spent $4,183 for a 32-caliber pistol reportedly carried by frontier scout Calamity Jane at her death.

“We achieved some very good prices,” Carella said. “I knew those pieces would garner the interest they did, because there are so many people interested in these guys, these folklore legends.”

Geronimo’s rifle, Wyatt Earp’s shotgun, Custer’s sabre, and Calamity Jane’s pistol. Now that’s just cool.

There is an emerging sub-genre of science fiction — quantum fiction, which is characterized by the use of quantum mechanics to explain, or make plausible, the supernatural, paranormal, or fantastic.  This sounds like a plot from one of those stories:

You see, two cosmologists from respectable American universities have claimed that man may be significantly shortening the life of the universe by observing dark energy as a consequence of an effect predicted by a thought experiment involving Schrodinger’s cat.

They often illustrate their concerns about what the theory means with mind-boggling experiments, notably Schrodinger’s cat in which, thanks to a fancy experimental set up, the moggy is both alive and dead until someone decides to look, when it either carries on living, or dies. That is, by one interpretation (by another, the universe splits into two, one with a live cat and one with a dead one.)

(Of course, Schrodinger came up with his famous dead-alive cat to point out what he believed were seriously flawed assumptions on the part of Einstein.) 

New Scientist reports a worrying new variant as the cosmologists claim that astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos.

The damaging allegations are made by Profs Lawrence Krauss of Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, and James Dent of Vanderbilt University, Nashville, who suggest that by making this observation in 1998 we may have caused the cosmos to revert to an earlier state when it was more likely to end. “Incredible as it seems, our detection of the dark energy may have reduced the life-expectancy of the universe,” Prof Krauss tells New Scientist.

While this could make a great sci-fi story, I have difficulty wrapping my brain around the concept in practice.  I am not a scientist, nor do I play one on TV, but even if this is true on the molecular level, it doesn’t seem to affect things on the every day object size.  So to think that the actions of a handful of people (out of billions) on one small planet orbiting one smallish star (out of billions) on the outside of one galaxy in a universe of billions of galaxies, can affect the outcome of said universe, seems, well, unprovable, anyway.

I think I need to ask my brother-in-law, the Physics and Math Fount of Knowledge.  Even if he gives me a cryptic 2-sentence answer to a 5-page question.